Our backyard

It's been a slow day for blogging, so I thought I'd whip up a map of our backyard (except I left out the grill and the porch swing, as both have been moved to the front porch).

1. The dead zone: Don't even think about walking through here, unless you like stepping on turds, both fresh and petrified.
2. The back gate: Like raptors, the boys check this every time they go out, just to make sure it's closed and latched. Trust me, it's not fun jogging through the neighborhood asking everyone if they've seen two pit bulls running by. "Don't worry--they're nice!"
3. The dwarf telephone pole: At 4 feet tall, it is enjoying it's retirement from telecommunications duty, and now serves as a peeing post for the boys.
4. Ernie's race track: This is the figure eight Ernie runs at least 20 times a day. Dexter will chase him for about 6 laps, but then he lies in ambush in the center.
5. The lawn table: This is a glass-topped table I use as a dining room table, since I have no dining room and very few dinner guests. Sometimes it has chairs around it, sometimes the chairs have migrated to the front porch. It's main purpose is to anchor Ernie's track.
6. The bush: I wouldn't know poison ivy from a daffodil, so don't ask me what kind of bush this is, but it's where the cardinals have taken up residence. The dogs like to lay underneath it when it gets hot.
7. The back porch/back door: This is where I sit and take pictures of the boys. I also look out the back door from the kitchen to make sure they are both still in the yard, and not trolling the neighborhood for chicks. This is also where Hemo guards the house from the mocking birds.
8. The house: Nothing much to see here. Just 600 square feet of me space.
9. The forbidden zone: This would be the ideal poop spot for the boys, except for one problem: there is no fence bordering this section of the yard! A major design flaw. I'm not sure why the landlord would take the trouble to build a nice tall privacy fence around the entire yard and omit this 4 foot stretch, but the purchase of chicken wire is in my very near future.

Caste system: toys

Ernie has inside toys (clean) and outside toys (dirty). Inside toys can become outside toys, but outside toys will never make the leap back to inside (unless they can easily be cleaned, like kongs or nylabones). Ernie seems to be alright with this system, except for one toy. Pictured above is Ernie with the leg of a stuffed bear, all that remains of his Christmas present from Ms. Alice. He keeps trying to bring it inside. I guess he's not as caste-conscious as I am.

Reason #47 why I hate to mop

I love having clean floors; unfortunately I only have them for about 4 minutes before this happens. This is my kitchen floor, approximately 237 seconds after I mopped and dried it. If you look closely, you can see the doggie footprints right down the middle of the floor. Dexter has the decency to look like he's sorry; meanwhile Ernie is busy cleaning his muddy paws on my clean clothes.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo

I hope the boys are planning on recycling their empties.

Hemo the Gate Keeper

The mocking birds have been duking it out with a pair of cardinals for possession of the bushes along the side of my house. They are surprisingly loud and aggressive. Hemo is not amused; the bushes are her sanctuary. I think she's daring them to try to come inside.

She is pissed.

Dirty Ernie

The look of slight concern on Ernie's face is due to the bath that looms large in his future. He and Dexter have been giving themselves dirt baths all week, and my dog/dirt threshold has been reached.

The sheets will also be getting a bath.

I heart Sailor Jerry

Recipe for deliciousness:

1 bottle Sailor Jerry Spiced Navy Rum (92 proof)
several cans of ginger ale
1 brand new electric skillet
3 chicken breasts, cubed
assortment of stir fry vegetables
3-4 heaping spoonfuls of minced garlic (add more or less to taste)
3-4 glugs peanut oil
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup water
1 tbsp flour
3 cups cooked rice

Mix first two ingredients (heavy on the first), pour over ice in tall glass (hereafter called a "Sailor Sarah"). Drink. Repeat. Unpack, wash, and assemble skillet. Cook chicken in newly purchased, washed, and assembled skillet in peanut oil on medium high. Add vegetables and garlic. Mix soy sauce, water, and flour, stirring until flour is dissolved. Add soy sauce mixture to chicken and vegetables. Cover, reduce heat to low; fix yourself another Sailor Sarah. Wait until you can't take it anymore. Serve stir fry over rice. Eat until you bust.