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Friday, May 30, 2008


This is what I made myself for lunch the other day:

At the time, it looked (and tasted) so delicious, I took a picture to capture the moment. Tuna+sliced olives+red onions+chick peas+soft white wheat bread=delicious. But then I forgot about it in the back of my fridge for 3 days tops. When I pulled it out to have another delicious sandwich, it looked gross; all watery and gray. As I looked around the kitchen in dismay, I realized that someone had eaten my loaf of delicious Sara Lee White Wheat bread, so Delicious Sandwich Part Deux was a no go. So I fed it to the cat for 3 days, and she loved it, except for the chick peas. What I learned: Hemo does not like chick peas, and I do not like cat food.

My own adventure

Indiana Jones. Need I say more? I want to see this movie so badly that I'm prepared to brave the Local Multiplex on a Friday Night to see it, armed only with a purse full of Jack Daniels airplane bottles and a bucket of Cherry Coke. I'm not above doling out Karate Chops To The Kidneys to the middle schoolers making out in front of me in the concession stand line, either. I refrained at Busch Gardens, kids, but you only get one freebie.

And no, I will not be the ass hole holding up the line by asking the poor, harried concession stand worker to butter the bottom half of my popcorn as well as the top. We all know nobody eats a whole bag of movie-theater popcorn. And if you are the type who brings their half-empty bag home with them after the movie...sad. Just sad. It will never taste as good as it did staring at a 2 story tall screen.

Shia, Harrison, you better have your game faces on. I'll see you at 9:15.

Thursday, May 29, 2008


My camera USB cord is making it's slow trek from Michigan back to me. Until then, suck on THIS:

Ernie before the surgery to correct his cleft palate.

Friday, May 16, 2008

And I helped!

Ernie is a big help on laundry day.

Brotherly love

Dexter's not crazy about tug-o'-war, but I caught the boys playing this gentle version. I'm not sure who won, but I'm pretty sure the toy lost.
Pay no attention to my pile of recyclables in the background.

Egg and Mr. Nut

Meet Egg (left) and Mr. Nut (right). They are two avocado seeds I'm trying to get to root. Egg reminds me of a character on the Garfield & Friends cartoon that was a chicken who refused to come out of his shell; Mr. Nut just has a face. If I can get these two to grow, I'll have my own avocados in just 7-15 years!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Flattering Photography

If I can take decent pictures with my little Nikon CoolPix L18, surely the photographer at this charity "Raise Money for a Good Cause" dog walk could have taken a better picture of our team (note my saggy poop-bag boobies). Also, I am holding two dogs, Ernie and Banana, but only the tip of Ernie's nose is visible.

Dog Smiles Part II

Ernie, with a very satisfied grin on his face. Maybe he just ate some poop.

Lunch Hour Gladiators

Thanks to the happy coincidence of the Board of Education's Attorney's office being located mere blocks from my house, I sometimes get to time my lunch break with my duties as office courier. On such happy occasions, the boys get a mid-day wrestling break. Sure beats staring out of the window and barking at the mail man.

Monday, May 12, 2008


I was at the HomeDepot last week, picking up some hardward to hang up my porch swing, when I saw these Boston Ferns on sale for $9.98. '$9.98!' I thought, 'That's a deal!' It was pointed out to me by my shopping companion that perhaps they were half-price because they were of less-than-stellar quality. I shook off such Debbie-downer negativity and brought them home. I pulled out all the dead-looking shoots and gave them a good watering, but they do seem to be struggling; I'm trying to bring them around, despite my notorious black thumb. As you can see, one side is doing better than the other. Keep Fern 1 (pictured here) and Fern 2 in your thoughts.

Totally Random

I found this quote on Notes from my Ordinary Life , which I thought would be an interesting read, which it was, but it started to get kind of dark re: family life about 3 posts in. A quick quote:

Maya was the child of our disillusionment. She was born in stark reality and of sheer biological imperative. She was conceived because Kim was accommodating and we weren't careful enough. Another child was the last thing we wanted. Kim and I had both learned that it's sometimes hard to love those you love the most.



The beach takes a lot out of you.

Dexter and Ernie go the Beach

...and although they weren't very cooperative about getting their pictures taken, they did enjoy themselves. After I dragged them both into the ocean for a dip, Dexter settled down under the umbrella like a true beach bum...

...while Ernie threatened to topple my beach chair by digging a nice big hole underneath it to lay in.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Dog Smiles

I think pit bulls win the award for smiley-est dog. Check out the big ol' smiles on the boys' faces as they wrestle around in the back yard.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

I'm ready for my EXTREME close-up, Mr. DeVille

Ernie does everything to the extreme, apparently even his close-ups.


I got a phone call from Ms. Alice today; she said she's going to have to put down her cat, Holly, who has an increasingly large growth on her neck, and would I like to come by and say goodbye? Holly hasn't been eating, and is visibly in pain. Holly is 15, which is pretty good for a cat, but it's still sad to see a life come to an end. It makes me think about my pets, and how I hope I'll get the chance to say my goodbyes to them when the time comes. Big hugs all around when I get home, even if the boys are dirty.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Our backyard

It's been a slow day for blogging, so I thought I'd whip up a map of our backyard (except I left out the grill and the porch swing, as both have been moved to the front porch).

1. The dead zone: Don't even think about walking through here, unless you like stepping on turds, both fresh and petrified.
2. The back gate: Like raptors, the boys check this every time they go out, just to make sure it's closed and latched. Trust me, it's not fun jogging through the neighborhood asking everyone if they've seen two pit bulls running by. "Don't worry--they're nice!"
3. The dwarf telephone pole: At 4 feet tall, it is enjoying it's retirement from telecommunications duty, and now serves as a peeing post for the boys.
4. Ernie's race track: This is the figure eight Ernie runs at least 20 times a day. Dexter will chase him for about 6 laps, but then he lies in ambush in the center.
5. The lawn table: This is a glass-topped table I use as a dining room table, since I have no dining room and very few dinner guests. Sometimes it has chairs around it, sometimes the chairs have migrated to the front porch. It's main purpose is to anchor Ernie's track.
6. The bush: I wouldn't know poison ivy from a daffodil, so don't ask me what kind of bush this is, but it's where the cardinals have taken up residence. The dogs like to lay underneath it when it gets hot.
7. The back porch/back door: This is where I sit and take pictures of the boys. I also look out the back door from the kitchen to make sure they are both still in the yard, and not trolling the neighborhood for chicks. This is also where Hemo guards the house from the mocking birds.
8. The house: Nothing much to see here. Just 600 square feet of me space.
9. The forbidden zone: This would be the ideal poop spot for the boys, except for one problem: there is no fence bordering this section of the yard! A major design flaw. I'm not sure why the landlord would take the trouble to build a nice tall privacy fence around the entire yard and omit this 4 foot stretch, but the purchase of chicken wire is in my very near future.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Caste system: toys

Ernie has inside toys (clean) and outside toys (dirty). Inside toys can become outside toys, but outside toys will never make the leap back to inside (unless they can easily be cleaned, like kongs or nylabones). Ernie seems to be alright with this system, except for one toy. Pictured above is Ernie with the leg of a stuffed bear, all that remains of his Christmas present from Ms. Alice. He keeps trying to bring it inside. I guess he's not as caste-conscious as I am.

Reason #47 why I hate to mop

I love having clean floors; unfortunately I only have them for about 4 minutes before this happens. This is my kitchen floor, approximately 237 seconds after I mopped and dried it. If you look closely, you can see the doggie footprints right down the middle of the floor. Dexter has the decency to look like he's sorry; meanwhile Ernie is busy cleaning his muddy paws on my clean clothes.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Feliz Cinco de Mayo

I hope the boys are planning on recycling their empties.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Hemo the Gate Keeper

The mocking birds have been duking it out with a pair of cardinals for possession of the bushes along the side of my house. They are surprisingly loud and aggressive. Hemo is not amused; the bushes are her sanctuary. I think she's daring them to try to come inside.

She is pissed.

Dirty Ernie

The look of slight concern on Ernie's face is due to the bath that looms large in his future. He and Dexter have been giving themselves dirt baths all week, and my dog/dirt threshold has been reached.

The sheets will also be getting a bath.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

I heart Sailor Jerry

Recipe for deliciousness:

1 bottle Sailor Jerry Spiced Navy Rum (92 proof)
several cans of ginger ale
1 brand new electric skillet
3 chicken breasts, cubed
assortment of stir fry vegetables
3-4 heaping spoonfuls of minced garlic (add more or less to taste)
3-4 glugs peanut oil
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup water
1 tbsp flour
3 cups cooked rice

Mix first two ingredients (heavy on the first), pour over ice in tall glass (hereafter called a "Sailor Sarah"). Drink. Repeat. Unpack, wash, and assemble skillet. Cook chicken in newly purchased, washed, and assembled skillet in peanut oil on medium high. Add vegetables and garlic. Mix soy sauce, water, and flour, stirring until flour is dissolved. Add soy sauce mixture to chicken and vegetables. Cover, reduce heat to low; fix yourself another Sailor Sarah. Wait until you can't take it anymore. Serve stir fry over rice. Eat until you bust.