Mockingbirds are not funny at all

I've mentioned before the annoying mockingbirds that have taken up residence in my hedge. Not content to be merely annoying, they now pose a threat to my physical well-being.

For a while they had actually fallen off my radar. It's been pretty hot in NC, so I've been spending most of my time inside, enjoying the AC and bonging beers checking out the previous tenants' newest Highlights magazine practicing my American Gladiator moves catching up on my laundry. While checking the mailbox for my new Netflix movies, I detected a faint breeze and decided to take advantage of the break in the stifling heat and enjoy a cold beer and a book in my rocking chair on the front porch.

Three-quarters of a page and 1/2 of a Bud Lite Lime (I know, I know, they are disgusting but delicious) later, I was dive bombed by a pair of mockingbirds! I'm sure you are aware that birds are not only dirty disease carrying rodents with wings, but they will not hesitate to peck out your eyes with their beaks whilst they beat you about the head with their wings! Needless to say, I freaked. I dove from my chair, spilled my beer all over the porch, and flung my book over the railing into the hedge. I don't think anyone saw me ("Hey, that crazy white girl just poured beer all down her front!"), but after I was safely inside, I looked out the window to see Hemo dozing on the porch while the mockingbirds dive bombed her, one after the other. She was unperturbed; in fact, she seemed to enjoy the breeze that ruffled her fur as they flew past.

Hemo is a Bad Mutha Fudrucker.