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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My cookie tastes like a pen

Inspired by Ben's work-related post, here's a peek into my office:

  • A coworker's response to a remark about his habit of clipping his nails at his desk:
    "What? At least you know I'm well groomed."
    What I know is to avoid your office during your grooming sessions, lest I get a nail clipping in my eye.

  • From the mail room lady:
    "Would you like some cheese and jalapeno grits?"
    Yes. A thousand times, yes.

  • A local restaurant dropped off "goody bags" with coupons and pens to drum up some lunch business. I high-five a coworker about our good fortune--coupons and a pen!?! I find out later that each of the bags also had a cookie in them, but the fat bitch switchboard operator took them all out and ate them over the next 3 days. Now I think my pen sucks.

  • The boss is on vacation this week, and I had to show him how to set up his automatic email "away" message. For the fourth time.

    I will not be watering his plants in his absence.


Ben said...

Okay....cookie stealing? That's definitely the 11th commandment.

I'd send that bitch straight to office hell.

Dolce said...

Cookie theives must die.

Or replace salt in the sugar container. That went over real well.

BrazenBareToe said...

Ewww, I couldn't get past the nail clipper. Yuck.

Cookie stealing is just plain rude.

Kate said...

People who eat all the treats? They must go away. And quickly. I think a mob-style confrontation might work. Or it might not. She needs to know that you know!

Arjewtino said...

Are the Cookie Monster and Hamburglar in cahoots?

saratogajean said...

ben - If I could I would, but I don't know how...

dolce - I'm not sure she'd notice. She's a BEAST!

brazenbaretoe - Me too. When I hear the tell-tale sound, I take a 15 minute I-need-to-get-the-hell-out-of-here break.

kate - She knows I know, because she revealed herself like it was some hilarious joke.

Listen, biotch, if you shared with me, I might think it was funny.

But you didn't, so I don't.

arjewtino - I think she is the Cookie Monster and the Hamburglar combined.

Dingo said...

You should gather up the nail clippings, put them in a batch of cookies and give them to the switchboard operator.

What? Fingernails? Are you kidding? Don't you know coconut when you see/taste it?

The Writer said...

Grits!?! You really eat grits!?!

Happy wandering!

The Writer...and her dog, Bear

saratogajean said...

dingo - I could never befoul an oatmeal cookie in such a manner!

the writer - Don't tell my mom, but I LOVE cheese grits.

LBluca77 said...

Nail clipping should only be done behind closed doors at ones home. Eeewwww

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