I was wracking my brains this morning for a good TMI post, but I decided to go with JEI (Just Enough Information) Thursday.
I was at our county's government office yesterday, trying to get some permits approved for new after school programs. Have I mentioned I work for my county's school system? Of course, I end up waiting in 3 different lines to talk to 5 different people, eventually leaving with 2 additional forms that need to be filled out and approved before the county can grant itself permission to run after school care programs in buildings not only built by the county itself and run by county employees, but previously inspected by county agencies. Ah, bureaucracy, how I love you.
Anyway, I got to leave work early and I picked up some sweet pamphlets while I was waiting in the Environmental Health Department line.
So, without further ado, I bring you RATS...Some Facts.
And inside...(emphasis my own)
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- Text: The average rat lives about one year. During this time a female rat may have seven litters, each with 6-12 young.
Conclusion: Rats live hard and die young. Also, rats are sluts.
- Text: Each time a rat leaves the nest, it travels the same path. This path is called a "runway."
Conclusion: Tyra Banks is a rat.
- Text: Rats commonly live near people and are not scared by the odor of humans.
Conclusion: Rats do not shop at Wal*Mart or use public transportation, because if they did they would be scared by the odor of humans. Unwashed humans, at least.
- Text: The rat most commonly found in homes in North Carolina is the Norway rat (Rattus norvegicus).
Conclusion: We need to build a fence between the USA and Norway, to keep out illegal immigrants.
- Text: When food is available, rats will make themselves at home.
Conclusion: My stepbrothers are rats.
- Text: Where large numbers of rats are present in a neighborhood, a community effort is needed to control the rat problem.
Conclusion: You better make nice with your neighbors, because when the rat apocalypse occurs, you are going to need back-up.