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Monday, December 22, 2008

Wine Eye?!? What happened to Notorious?

I was riding with J and Julie to a friend's wedding, when I over heard this half of a phone conversation between J and The Groom:

J: Yeah, we're almost there...I'm with Julie and Sarah.
The Groom: (inaudible)
J: Hahaha, yeah, Wine Eye Sarah.

Me: What? Who's Wine Eye Sarah?

WTF? I'd never heard that particular nickname. I interrogated J and Julie, but neither one of them was copping to any knowledge of the origins of the nickname. I barely made it through the ceremony before rushing The Groom and demanding an explanation. I walked away in a huff after he spilled the beans.

The backstory: I used to date The Groom's best friend a couple of years ago. We met at a local bar that had karaoke and 1/2 price bottles of wine every Sunday. Needless to say, I was there just about every Sunday.

The beans: Unbeknownst to me, drinking an entire bottle of wine all by myself causes one of my eyes to, well, there's no delicate way to say this, drift? Go lazy? How fucking embarassing. Karaoke Boyfriend and his boys were laughing at my lazy drunk eye and calling me Wine Eye. Granted, these boys gave everyone a nickname, but I thought mine was Notorious, since that was what they called me to my face and my signature karaoke song was (and continues to be) Notorious by Duran Duran.

I wanted to punch someone, but since Karaoke Boyfriend was safely in Colorado and The Groom was, well, The Groom, I had to laugh it off and pretend I didn't care. But I did, internet. I did.

But then I reviewed pictures from the wedding after-party and decided the nickname was warranted, after all. Still, that fucking sucks.

Ernie's imitation of Wine Eye Sarah.

Not funny, Ernie.

Anyway, if you've noticed a decline in pictures of the dogs over the past couple of weeks (come one, I know there's at least one of you), it's because Wine Eye struck again and I lost my camera. HOWEVER, Steve rocks and got me a brand spanking new camera for Christmas.


Kristen said...

A whole bottle of wine makes me chain smoke and repeat myself.

I think I'd rather have the eye problem.

Nilsa said...

That's pretty freaking hilarious! And consider this. A lot of girls get loose when they drink wine. I think I'd rather have the nickname of Wine Eye than Wine Whore. =)

Lemmonex said...

A whole bottle of wine makes me feel alive.

LBluca77 said...

HAHA Now I want to drink wine with you. Wine gets me so drunk. I won't drink it in public, I can't be responsible for my actions.

Just a Girl said...

I can't drink enough wine to get drunk, mainly because it gives me a wicked headache after a glass. But I used to have a mad case of vodka vagina, so maybe I'd rather have the wine eye.

Liebchen said...

Haha. I've noticed in all my "going out" pictures, one of my eyes always gets a little squinty - just the one. Not necessarily wine eye, but just plain drunk eye.

I'm right there with ya.

Kate said...

When I was drinking, I'd try to read when I went to bed and my left eye is so much worse than my right eye when it comes to vision, that I'd close it so the words would stay still on the page. Even now when I'm tired, I can only read with my right eye open and left eye closed.

What kind of nickname do I get for THAT?

Lump said...

actually I love that nickname!

a bottle of wine makes me feel HOT, then I proceed to take off my clothes. and that's not funny.

saratogajean said...

kristen - Chain smoke and what?

Gotcha! Maybe.

nilsa - So very true.

lemmonex - I picture you throwing your arms in the air when you say 'alive.' Perhaps even shouting.

lbluca77 - Wine kicks the shit out of me and gives me the worst hangover ever. I still love her, though.

just a girl - Vodka Vagina, huh? I guess there are worse nicknames.

liebchen - I had to examine the photographic evidence, and sadly, exhibits A thru Y supported Karaoke Boyfriend's case.

kate - You're giving me a headache just reading that!

lump - Hot like HOTT? Because alcohol does that to me, too. I can't tell you the number of times I've checked myself out in a bar mirror and been, "dang, girl, how you doin'?"

Dr Zibbs said...

Haha. Wine eye.

Ben said...

Jeez. I'd hate that too!

But then again it could be a whole lot worse, couldn't it?

Don't make me come up with examples...

Dingo said...

Maybe you didn't lose your camera. Maybe it's just lying around somewhere out of your line of sight -- being that you often have one eye wanderin' around. Then again, you'd think that would give you excellent peripheral vision.

Daisee579 said...

I wonder what I'd do after an entire bottle of wine other than try to hump everything I see. I think I have a slight case of Just a girl's Vodka Vagina except that it usually starts for me with rum and "something fruity" or too many margaritas. Now that I'm married, I dont' think my husband would approve of me dancing on tables, making out with strangers, or going home with them. But then again, in this economy, if I could get paid for that, maybe my husband would be cool.

saratogajean said...

dr zibbs - It's even funnier in person.

ben - Yeah, they could have called me Vodka Vagina. $10 says I call somebody that next time I'm drinking vodka.

dingo - Wine Eye is searching the walls as we speak. Well, that is a lie because I am at work and not at my home. My new camera is much nicer, though, so perhaps I'll let sleeping dogs lie and call off the search party.

daisee579 - I'm getting closer and closer to walking the streets myself. It's only the cold weather that's keeping me from a life of prostituteion.

So@24 said...

Notorious B.I.G. --> Notorious B.M.F

LiLu said...

A whole bottle of wine used to mean I was either naked, fighting, or passed out.

Now it just means it's Tuesday.


Marie said...

At least you have a nickname. All that happens to me when I drink a bottle of wine (actually just give me a glass and this would happen - light weight, I know) is giggle uncontrollably as my cheeks grow redder and then pass out. SO boring.

*~Dani~* said...

A whole bottle of wine and I can barely open my eyes. Oh and there are pictures. Thank you loving husband.

stoogepie said...

Maybe the Wine Eye relieves the double vision.

When I drink a whole bottle of wine, it makes me want to drink a second bottle. And write comments on blogs.

12ontheinside said...

I have a funny feeling I have a wine eye too. I think for me it's because I have one long sighted and one short sighted eye which get extra confused when alcohol is involved!

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