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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Who doesn't close the door in public restrooms?


Ok, enough about Curly Sue (although she is going strong, hanging in there for day 3). Let's talk about some Important Stuff. Like Stuff that Happens in Public Restrooms.

I never use the handicapped stall. I just can't. Even after downing a bucket of Wild Cherry Pepsi at a movie, when I really have to pee and there is a long line and it is the only stall available, I won't use it. What if a legitimately handicapped person comes in right as I'm, um, getting down to business? If I caused someone in a wheelchair to poop their pants because my able-bodied ass was occupying the handicapped stall, the guilt would follow me around my entire life and I wouldn't even try to argue with St. Peter when he shook his head and turned me away from the Pearly Gates.

There is a lady in my building who always uses the handicapped stall and never shuts the door. You heard that right. She leave the door unlatched. Now, this lady has a handicapped parking tag and sometimes uses a cane, so I am not begrudging her the use of the handicapped stall. But I've noticed that her office door is sometimes closed, so she can't have a disability that would keep her from latching the stall.

Don't get me wrong; I never close the bathroom door at home and only rarely do I close it at Steve's (unless I have to see a man about a horse or taking care of some lady business). When I walk in and see the door unlatched and see her feet under the door (of course I look), I start to question myself. Am I being a prude? I mean, it's not like anyone is going to see anything or even walk past. It's the last stall. But then I snap back to reality. No, it's normal to latch the door in public restrooms, just like courtesy flushes or awkward attempts at conversation. As I occupy my stall, I start thinking that maybe it's a dare. She's daring me to fling open the door. Or maybe she's really germophobic, and the merits of latching the door do not outweigh the sheer amount of pathogens that touching the latch would potentially transfer to her hands.

By the time I leave the bathroom, in my mind she has become this passive-aggressive lunatic who goes back to her office to don tissue-box slippers.

She does have that handicapped placard...

25 comments:

debi said...

Haha! When I was younger I thought using the handicap stall was illegal, the same as parking in a handicap spot!

I hate using public bathrooms, period, because they are dirty. However, on the occasion I must, I can NOT imagine leaving the door unlatched?? Why?????? That's just asking for trouble. One of the bathrooms at work doesn't have a functioning lock and I'm always always always afraid someone will open the door if I MUST use that one.

I leave the door open at home, except when M is over I push it all the way closed without shutting it. He laughs at me for doing that much, but eh.. I'm not used to peeing in front of someone!

andyhannon said...

If I were you, I would have just booted the door in, laughed, gave her a nice bop on the head, and run away laughing and skipping.

Marie said...

Um, ya people should be closing bathroom doors while out in public places. I don't want to catch a glimpse of anything!

LiLu said...

We could all write forever about people's unfortunate choices in public restrooms, truly. Ugh.

Kate said...

That's just yucky.

rs27 said...

I always use the diabled stall. I'm disabled from walking at that present moment so I see nothing wrong with it.

Where's my handicap sticker?

Just A Girl said...

Ewww that's weird. I'm with andyhannon - I would kick the door open and run away. Just to teach her a lesson.

Oh, and any idea what happened to Arjewtino? His site goes to one of those generic search engine things now.

saratogajean said...

debi - Me too (about the illegal thing). My mom must have instilled some kind of fear in me at a young age.

andy - No, you wouldn't have.

marie - Exactly! I mean jeez, what if she was changing a tampon or something?

lilu - Eventually we'd all get grossed out and stop. I mean, I'm grossed out right now.

kate - You're telling me.

rs27 - It's in the mail.

just a girl - She'd find me and kill me, I'm sure. And I don't know what's up with Arjewtino's site. But that girl trying to get me to rent her apartment is annoying me.

Summer said...

How perplexing! I don't get what reason she'd have for not latching. There's clearly TP there if she's afraid to touch the latch with her bare hands.

Yeah, she's probably crazy. That's the only possible solution.

Daisee579 said...

Maybe she leaves it open in case she suddenly needs assistance? You know, the cane falls over and she can't get it or she has a heart attack while peeing and she doesn't want the EMT not to be able to get to her because of the latch. Or maybe she has claustraphobia. Or maybe she has an insane fear of being latched in. Once when my sister was young, she flushed a toilet that was either at someone's house or a public one (I can't remember which) and it didn't work properly and it overflowed. It scarred her so badly that she STILL has issues about going in other people's or public restrooms. So maybe that's what happened to whackadoo at your office.

Maxie said...

I have no problem using the handicapped stall if the rest of them are full... but if not I try to stay away from it.

I work in an office where the one person bathroom door is RIGHT in the office. Once a us senator peed with the door open and we all heard/saw it.

It was awesome.

LBluca77 said...

I would be scared the door would accidently fly open while I was going. My co workers are the last people I want to see me on the pot.

So@24 said...

I'd like to get a behind the scenes of your MS Paint drawings in the works. Have Steve take pics.

surviving myself said...

You should leave the stall door open, be proud of what you're making!

Lump said...

there's a lady I work with who feels the need to completely undress from the waist down when she's doing her business. I thought only dudes did that.

I don't know...I think you should ask her if she needs help next time.

PunkyBean said...

Who doesn't close the door when they go to the bathroom in public? Yeah, I know - that lady, but really she might be the only one. You should put up a sign, "All employees must close the door when doing their business." I want to put up a hand washing sign at my company.

Narm said...

The handicap stall at my work is bigger than my office - I not only 2 in there - I hold meetings in there.

lacochran said...

Bizarre. She should absolutely be closing that door.

Exhibitionist, perhaps? Or extreme extrovert who hates to be alone?

I knew of someone who was such an extrovert that she would leave her hotel room propped open and hope someone passing by would talk to her. Don't know what she did in bathrooms but it wouldn't surprise me...

*~Dani~* said...

Okay. Just the other day I was in the women's restroom at work and someone walked up to the handicapped stall and opened the door - on someone else! And I thought to myself "why the heck didn't they lock the door?" I guess this phenomenon is more prevalent then you would think.

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stoogepie said...

I think she is just trying to be friendly. She is just hoping someone will open the door and stop in for a chat, the way dudes talk during target practice at the urinals. I'm sure that many BFFs have met in the handicapped stall. You should try to be more social in the future yourself.

PorkStar said...

Since when is a stall supposed to be a place to socialize? Only at home, fellas.

Sara said...

I try not to use public restrooms for just that reason....you just never know what you'll see.

Kristen said...

I don't think I've ever encountered that but I really, really hate it when people in the locker room stand there blow drying their hair and putting on makeup in their underpanties.

It's like, you brought clothing with you, right?

SO PUT IT ON!!!

I DON'T NEED TO SEE YOU STANDING THERE IN YOUR SPANKS.

*~Dani~* said...

Kristen - seeing them in their Spanks would be an improvement over the old, wrinkly over tanned BUTT ASS NAKED women that I would see putting on their makeup at the gym. No wonder I never went back.

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