Friday, May 30, 2008
And no, I will not be the ass hole holding up the line by asking the poor, harried concession stand worker to butter the bottom half of my popcorn as well as the top. We all know nobody eats a whole bag of movie-theater popcorn. And if you are the type who brings their half-empty bag home with them after the movie...sad. Just sad. It will never taste as good as it did staring at a 2 story tall screen.
Shia, Harrison, you better have your game faces on. I'll see you at 9:15.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Ernie before the surgery to correct his cleft palate.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Maya was the child of our disillusionment. She was born in stark reality and of sheer biological imperative. She was conceived because Kim was accommodating and we weren't careful enough. Another child was the last thing we wanted. Kim and I had both learned that it's sometimes hard to love those you love the most.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
1. The dead zone: Don't even think about walking through here, unless you like stepping on turds, both fresh and petrified.
2. The back gate: Like raptors, the boys check this every time they go out, just to make sure it's closed and latched. Trust me, it's not fun jogging through the neighborhood asking everyone if they've seen two pit bulls running by. "Don't worry--they're nice!"
3. The dwarf telephone pole: At 4 feet tall, it is enjoying it's retirement from telecommunications duty, and now serves as a peeing post for the boys.
4. Ernie's race track: This is the figure eight Ernie runs at least 20 times a day. Dexter will chase him for about 6 laps, but then he lies in ambush in the center.
5. The lawn table: This is a glass-topped table I use as a dining room table, since I have no dining room and very few dinner guests. Sometimes it has chairs around it, sometimes the chairs have migrated to the front porch. It's main purpose is to anchor Ernie's track.
6. The bush: I wouldn't know poison ivy from a daffodil, so don't ask me what kind of bush this is, but it's where the cardinals have taken up residence. The dogs like to lay underneath it when it gets hot.
7. The back porch/back door: This is where I sit and take pictures of the boys. I also look out the back door from the kitchen to make sure they are both still in the yard, and not trolling the neighborhood for chicks. This is also where Hemo guards the house from the mocking birds.
8. The house: Nothing much to see here. Just 600 square feet of me space.
9. The forbidden zone: This would be the ideal poop spot for the boys, except for one problem: there is no fence bordering this section of the yard! A major design flaw. I'm not sure why the landlord would take the trouble to build a nice tall privacy fence around the entire yard and omit this 4 foot stretch, but the purchase of chicken wire is in my very near future.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
I love having clean floors; unfortunately I only have them for about 4 minutes before this happens. This is my kitchen floor, approximately 237 seconds after I mopped and dried it. If you look closely, you can see the doggie footprints right down the middle of the floor. Dexter has the decency to look like he's sorry; meanwhile Ernie is busy cleaning his muddy paws on my clean clothes.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
She is pissed.
The sheets will also be getting a bath.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
1 bottle Sailor Jerry Spiced Navy Rum (92 proof)
several cans of ginger ale
1 brand new electric skillet
3 chicken breasts, cubed
assortment of stir fry vegetables
3-4 heaping spoonfuls of minced garlic (add more
or less to taste)
3-4 glugs peanut oil
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup water
1 tbsp flour
3 cups cooked rice
Mix first two ingredients (heavy on the first), pour over ice in tall glass (hereafter called a "Sailor Sarah"). Drink. Repeat. Unpack, wash, and assemble skillet. Cook chicken in newly purchased, washed, and assembled skillet in peanut oil on medium high. Add vegetables and garlic. Mix soy sauce, water, and flour, stirring until flour is dissolved. Add soy sauce mixture to chicken and vegetables. Cover, reduce heat to low; fix yourself another Sailor Sarah. Wait until you can't take it anymore. Serve stir fry over rice. Eat until you bust.